What is Loyalty

Clarify that loyalty to anything outside yourself is likely going to compromise you at some point. Being loyal to your own core values, your truest and highest self is the most effective long term strategy for health, happiness and fulfillment.

What do I really want to say?

Loyalty to anyone outside of yourself is going to create resentment, lost time and inauthenticity. For many years I was loyal to the rules and expectations of my family. The rules of marriage, the rules I understood about parenting and the rules of the company I worked for. Loyalty was something people could rely on mm for.  But the more I slowed down, the easier it was to hear my internal wisdom speaking to me. The more I listened to what I wanted and needed the harder it was to fulfill my obligation to be loyal to a system of beliefs that started to not make any sense to me. 

And after working with 1000s of women over the last 18 years, Loyalty is one of the biggest lies we have been told about how to...

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Gratitude Beyond Journaling

What would happen if we stopped hoarding our gratitude in our private journals? What stops us from activating our gratitude? This is a life changing conversation.

This experience

On July 16, 2009 my son’s father, my former husband, died unexpectedly in a
motorcycle accident. This experience, this loss, highlighted for me the many reasons to
express gratitude with urgency and with a whole heart. Despite the intense grief, fear,
sadness and many other emotions we experience when someone’s life story ends without our permission, I was incredibly grateful that I had continuously shared my gratitude with him for his presence in my life. Many of us know someone, if not you yourself, who has deep regret for not acting on the gratitude in their hearts.

The pain of a lost opportunity to express love and appreciation has completely altered the path of many people’s lives. I will venture to guess that you could easily name a dozen people that if they died tomorrow, you would...

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Life Practice vs Life Goals

A lot of us grew up with the mindset that you have to set a goal. You go achieve it, move on to the next thing. The problem with that is if you are over-focused and you have tunnel vision for achieving a specific goal, there becomes a never ending cycle of trying to produce that. 

It doesn't allow you to actually experience the moment that you're in. 

And it requires when you're constantly going after goal, what could I be doing next? What could I be doing right now to get me closer to that goal, rather than looking at the practice of living the life of the person who will have achieved that goal. The intention is to switch from being goal oriented, which is where I lived most of my life to becoming someone who is practicing their life, practicing what it actually looks like to be this person that you want to become. Think about who you want to become. 

Who do you want to be remembered as? 

What kind of mom do you want to be? What kind of partner do you want to...

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Alignment and Abundance

We hear these words a lot, with each passing year within the spiritual community and those steeped in quantum physics, talk more about energy, the law of attraction and manifesting.

We hear about alignment and abundance but what does it really mean?

Alignment is things in line.

Arranging pieces to be in the shortest path, a straight line… Alignment in terms of choices and decisions made that are congruent and supportive of the vision and goals you want to achieve and realize. Before we can talk about alignment, we have to get clear about having a vision. Because you can’t make aligned choices that will benefit you long term if you don’t have a consistent vision about the life you want. Having a clear vision of your business goals or your health goals exclusively is how so many of us burn out on any particular area of life. Balance sends those of us who are working on pulling away from people pleasing and overachieving and productivity addicted  into a...

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What is Self-awareness

 

Lots of people are tired of hearing about the term self-awareness and if you've been exposed to any kind of self-help book or motivational section of the library, it can be a little daunting sometimes to look at all the ways you can better yourself.

Sometimes you hit rock bottom

And there’s extreme pain and you acknowledge that there's something bigger than yourself, something bigger than your ego. Self-awareness is all of those things and so much more depending on who you ask, right? But the perception of you by others and what roles and identities you have agreed to is part of yourself, including the easy or genius levels of qualities, skills and traits, but also the things that you need to outsource because you're not good at. And that's what self-awareness is about from my perspective, knowing that you contribute to your situation at any given moment is an important thing to realize, and being aware of your contribution every time there's a person that you're...

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How to Handle a Setback

One of the most challenging parts of being a perfectionist is the continuous reality checks we receive when we think we have finally figured it out. IT being your health plan, your relationship communication, your money saving budget and then reality swoops in and reminds you that NOTHING is that predictable.

No matter how hard we work at creating the perfect plan, the most beautiful strategy that accounts for all the mishaps and potential detours, reality is not plannable.

Setbacks happen.

Big and small. Enormous game changing obstacles and little tiny micro hindrances all add up to an ongoing opportunity to remember that we aren’t in control of anything, even our own selves, our own bodies sometimes.

You have a few choices:

- Deny that the setback occurred and try to move forward with plan A

- Throw your hands up in defeat and say why bother, and stop making plans.

-Or start to expect that there will be detours and obstacles in every plan you make 

Knowing that your...

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How to Use Your Vision Board

Vision Boards are visuals that you create that include images and text that conveys the life you want or crave to live. It is the visual representation of the dreams and goals achieved when you are aligned spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally.
It’s things and people and experiences and places.

There are many versions of vision boards out there 

Some call them dream boards, future boards, reality boards - lots of variations out there to distinguish the creator of the board from the watered down vision board process we have learned in pop culture. When I was first introduced to Vision Boards in 2004, I was excited and inspired by the room full of women, all in the same direct sales company I had signed up for the year before, and always an optimist, I was looking forward to getting all the things on my vision board that year. And I am incredibly grateful for that experience because I was super young and had never heard of or knew anything about personal...

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How to Forgive Yourself

Who do you need to forgive in order to land in 2021 with more peace and freedom? If you just answered yourself, you are not alone.

 

What does it mean to forgive ourselves? Where do we feel the pull of guilt, shame, and remorse? And what happens when you have the underlying sense of unresolved forgiveness of lack of reconciliation?

 

What does forgiveness actually mean? 

 

To cease to feel resentment against an offender, it’s the detachment of carrying the resentment with you of a mistake or harmful situation. Forgiveness is something we crave when we feel guilt, shame, or remorse.

 

We feel these things in parenting, partnering, in managing our money, in how we interact with our parents, our friends, our clients, our coworkers…You’re carrying guilt about whether you call your parents enough, whether you are available for your kids enough or in the right way, for not being the initiator for sex with your partner, not responding to texts or...

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Moving Forward or Staying Put

 

Knowing and honoring where you come from and what you have been through is different than keeping every single thing you’ve ever owned. One keeps you grounded the other cements you in place.

 

People Like Their Stuff

So here’s the thing: people like their stuff, no way of getting around that. However, there is a difference between sentimentality and not letting go. 

 

The former is a gentle reminder of a place or a smell or a moment that takes us back.  It allows us a momentary glimpse into a story we’ve already lived, a lesson we’ve been taught or a person that we love. And that is SUPER OK. We need those.  It’s important to know where you’ve come from and what you’ve come through, it's also just as important for you to be able to show and tell those stories to other people.  Life can be really fucking hard, and sometimes the thing we need the most is that one weird trinket to remind us -- “hey,...

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