How to Handle a Setback

One of the most challenging parts of being a perfectionist is the continuous reality checks we receive when we think we have finally figured it out. IT being your health plan, your relationship communication, your money saving budget and then reality swoops in and reminds you that NOTHING is that predictable.

No matter how hard we work at creating the perfect plan, the most beautiful strategy that accounts for all the mishaps and potential detours, reality is not plannable.

Setbacks happen.

Big and small. Enormous game changing obstacles and little tiny micro hindrances all add up to an ongoing opportunity to remember that we aren’t in control of anything, even our own selves, our own bodies sometimes.

You have a few choices:

- Deny that the setback occurred and try to move forward with plan A

- Throw your hands up in defeat and say why bother, and stop making plans.

-Or start to expect that there will be detours and obstacles in every plan you make 

Knowing that your plan is a DRAFT - it’s the intention and objective and not the cemented future prediction requires practice and is SUPER effective in shortening the detours we face.

A setback isn’t a hard stop. 

It’s a slow down, a delay. Which frankly, most perfectionists, especially those of us who have been uber focused on productivity and efficiency for the majority of our lives, genuinely need for their health and well-being. I have been managing Health setbacks. When my symptoms start to resurface and increase, it sets me back in every area of my life. I can’t show up for big or little things in some days. I have to change plans in every relationship personal and professional, I have to sleep more, which means I have literally fewer hours each day to exist in the world where others have 16+ awake hours. I have to choose between chores and snuggles with my kids. I have to accept that I can get some work done or I can have a date with my husband.

So what do you do when you experience these setbacks? 

Allow yourself to FEEL what you feel. Give it, and yourself, time to air out. Check in with your vision - is that still where you are excited to go? What was your responsibility in the setback, if any? This is NOT a time for judgment but an opportunity for higher levels of alignment and clarity.

Lean on your people. Ask for help. Love on yourself


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