How often do you feel overwhelmed with tasks? Anxiety? Other people’s demands? Your dreams and goals? There must be TOO much of something.

Usually it’s decisions

On top of decision we already have, we also have the pressure to make the RIGHT decisions. If we remove the pressure to make good decision and instead make aligned decisions by way of being crystal clear on who you want to become to live your truest life, we reduce the overwhelm by a lot. So let’s talk about when we feel overwhelmed.

Usually you have too much of saying yes to rules, obligations and expectations from other people; habit of saying yes, people are used to you doing all the things and saying yes so saying no or delegating feels impossible. This is a large commitment to independence instead of interdependence - this prevents assistance, support, collaboration, partnership, co-creation for solutions and division of labor which is one the best ways to deepen a relationship.

Anxiety -...

One of the most challenging things of being a driven, ambitious woman with chronic illness is consistency on anything. Consistency for a perfectionist is another nail in the coffin.

Perfectionism patterns

In full disclosure, consistency, as I knew it then, was difficult for me even before I got sick because I over extended myself and overcommitted regularly so it was impossible to keep any ball in the air consistently. But when I got sick it became very obvious to me that my intention to be consistent, heeding the advice I had been given from every mentor in my life, was fueling the perfectionism thought patterns and symptoms that led to more anxiety, self doubt, and the fear that I would fail. I interpreted Consistency as “every day” or “every time” and as a perfectionist, when I have a human moment and I am not that thing, do that action, have that experience, it meant I was failing at the perfect execution of consistency.

We hear that consistency is the...

Vulnerability - This word is definitely a trigger for anyone operating from perfectionism patterns. It’s the thing we avoid because by simply leaning into it, we are unsafe, available for criticism and others will see that we have flaws, challenges, emotions and tender spots in our human experience.

Vulnerable: open to moral attack, criticism 

So many perfectionists struggle to express gratitude in many of their relationships. So many of us have relationship structures that are based on codependency, narcissism or extreme independence. None of these models are going to invite someone to feel grateful and express gratitude easily, effortlessly and frequently. It can feel like knowingly walking into a fiery building every time. Do you remember the last time you received a compliment from a stranger? Someone told you that you had a nice smile, they liked your jacket, your work was well done? What did it trigger in you? Did you feel shy or nervous or...

All Relationships have expectations and rules - mostly unspoken and even more often we don’t realize we have them. These rules aren’t malicious - we have habits and patterns in relationships because as humans it makes sense that over time, there are predictable behaviors from one another.

Surrendering your autonomy

Loyalty to someone other than yourself is breeding ground for inauthenticity and for surrendering your autonomy. Loyalty from others as a core value says that no matter what you need, being their support, on their side, in their lane is the priority. This means ignoring your own inner voice, your independent and individual needs. Autonomy is, by definition, the the quality or state of being self-governing especially. It is the ability to make your own decisions about your own person. It’s the freedom to decide what happens to you, with you and around you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Autonomy is the antithesis of codependency...

Acknowledging your co-creators throughout your life opens the doors for more collaborative efforts, less loneliness and exponential impact and abundance. Your Independence is blocking your abundance.

Forgetting and Denying Co-Creators 

Consider the people you have seen in the last 24 hours in person and virtually.  How many actual human beings do you estimate you have crossed paths with? How many different people have you scrolled through on social media platforms? How many daily life experiences have you engaged in that required someone you have never met to 

initiate? There are literally hundreds, in some circumstances, thousands of people who contributed in large and small ways to produce each of our individual experiences every day. Everything we experience has a person behind it, someone showed up to work, play, invent, converse, exchange ideas. 

Over the course of our lives, we have benefited from trillions of...

We all crave peace, ease and a sense of purpose that fills us up and energizes us. And what we actually have oftentimes is a day-to-day experience of reacting and responding to the world around us and being on call for the other shoe to drop.

We have no idea who we are.

We have no idea what we want or how to feel peace and ease, most of us have a hard time even remembering when we felt that ease or that peace. We start looking at what’s wrong with us because we've tried to fix this a bunch of times, right? You've probably tried to put boundaries in place. You've probably incorporated some health and wellbeing practices and still you're not feeling okay. And so what we have to do first is acknowledge that perfectionism is more than just wanting things to be perfect and acknowledge that for the last several decades of your life, in order for you to feel safe enough to exist you've had to do these other things. Your energy and your attention has been placed somewhere else rather...

A lot of us grew up with the mindset that you have to set a goal. You go achieve it, move on to the next thing. The problem with that is if you are over-focused and you have tunnel vision for achieving a specific goal, there becomes a never ending cycle of trying to produce that. 

It doesn't allow you to actually experience the moment that you're in. 

And it requires when you're constantly going after goal, what could I be doing next? What could I be doing right now to get me closer to that goal, rather than looking at the practice of living the life of the person who will have achieved that goal. The intention is to switch from being goal oriented, which is where I lived most of my life to becoming someone who is practicing their life, practicing what it actually looks like to be this person that you want to become. Think about who you want to become. 

Who do you want to be remembered as? 

What kind of mom do you want to be? What kind of partner do you want to...

Lots of people are tired of hearing about the term self-awareness and if you've been exposed to any kind of self-help book or motivational section of the library, it can be a little daunting sometimes to look at all the ways you can better yourself.

Sometimes you hit rock bottom

And there’s extreme pain and you acknowledge that there's something bigger than yourself, something bigger than your ego. Self-awareness is all of those things and so much more depending on who you ask, right? But the perception of you by others and what roles and identities you have agreed to is part of yourself, including the easy or genius levels of qualities, skills and traits, but also the things that you need to outsource because you're not good at. And that's what self-awareness is about from my perspective, knowing that you contribute to your situation at any given moment is an important thing to realize, and being aware of your contribution every time there's a person that you're...