The Gap Between Now and Your Abundance

We all crave peace, ease and a sense of purpose that fills us up and energizes us. And what we actually have oftentimes is a day-to-day experience of reacting and responding to the world around us and being on call for the other shoe to drop.

We have no idea who we are.

We have no idea what we want or how to feel peace and ease, most of us have a hard time even remembering when we felt that ease or that peace. We start looking at what’s wrong with us because we've tried to fix this a bunch of times, right? You've probably tried to put boundaries in place. You've probably incorporated some health and wellbeing practices and still you're not feeling okay. And so what we have to do first is acknowledge that perfectionism is more than just wanting things to be perfect and acknowledge that for the last several decades of your life, in order for you to feel safe enough to exist you've had to do these other things. Your energy and your attention has been placed somewhere else rather than creating peace and ease because your primary focus has been safety and security of your existence.

This is where we find ourselves people pleasing.

We perform and produce as a way of providing value and proving our value to prove ourselves to be worthy of protecting and of love. Perfectionist are operating in this way because we learned how to manufacture the feeling of safety and security momentarily by controlling as many variables as possible. And so if we look at some of the habits of what we're doing, we are over committing, we refuse to, or don't know how to ask for help. When help is offered, we don't feel safe accepting it because that means we aren't doing something well enough. 

Our relationships tend to be one way. It's us pouring into others, endlessly. Taking on more than anyone else at our work or business, or at home, we're forever learners. We're obsessed with new ideas and new ways to be efficient and productive and likely have a pile of books or online courses that we've purchased that have been pointed in that direction.

We tend to neglect our needs on every level.

We see health as a bonus, as a thing we'll do once we get everything else in place, rather than an actual necessity for us to function. We're constantly blaming lack of time for everything we can't do or don't do. We have to close the gap between trying to control and manipulate the situation to the fulfillment piece and meaningful impact that we all crave. These coping mechanisms allowed us to get where we are now. It allowed us to get to this place where we can start being more discerning about our choices, our behaviors and our decisions. So we can start shifting how our habits of thinking, feeling and doing are actually working. 

 It's truly just about changing habits.

We make it out to be this huge task, a huge project that we have to rid ourselves of a certain aspect of our functioning, the perfectionism, the people pleasing, the procrastination, and really just comes down to asking a few new questions. When you're looking at something that you are frustrated by or something that you're doing, that you wish to no longer do. So when I'm thinking about doing something or there's an activity or a behavior that I'm noticing that I've been doing, I ask is it aligned with where I want to go? 

How can I reconfigure those cues so that I can become the person that I need to become to have the life that I want? When you start looking at your life, your day to day experiences, and identifying that what you crave is peace and fulfillment and meaningful impact, you can move away from perfectionism patterns.

That is how you level up to abundance.

You have to become the person who can handle and navigate the life of abundance in order for you to experience the level of abundance that you crave. This is not something you're going to get, you already have access to it.  We just don't allow ourselves to feel that access because we spent the majority of our life creating safety and security around ourselves by manufacturing that sensation. Have gratitude for having those coping mechanisms, be extremely grateful that you were that clever enough to create those things for yourself. 

Now identify that, I am ready for my purpose. I’m ready to do the thing I'm here to do. I'm ready to break down those barriers, pull apart that armor, take off the masks and become the person I was born to be. It's a matter of shifting small habits, one at a time to become the person that you are born to become. And that's how you do it, that's how you close the gap between now and your abundance.