Moving Forward or Staying Put

 

Knowing and honoring where you come from and what you have been through is different than keeping every single thing you’ve ever owned. One keeps you grounded the other cements you in place.

 

People Like Their Stuff

So here’s the thing: people like their stuff, no way of getting around that. However, there is a difference between sentimentality and not letting go. 

 

The former is a gentle reminder of a place or a smell or a moment that takes us back.  It allows us a momentary glimpse into a story we’ve already lived, a lesson we’ve been taught or a person that we love. And that is SUPER OK. We need those.  It’s important to know where you’ve come from and what you’ve come through, it's also just as important for you to be able to show and tell those stories to other people.  Life can be really fucking hard, and sometimes the thing we need the most is that one weird trinket to remind us -- “hey, remember that time we did that awesome shit when we were 20 and had no freaking clue what we were doing?  Let’s do more of that but better and smarter, because we really have come a long way.”.  

 

It’s the small shrine you create for a loved one that is no longer with you but everytime you look at it you have the courage and the energy to keep digging deeper, becoming that person only they could see.  The stories that make up our life are important to honor, they are important to share, they helped to define our world view and were a piece of someone else’s and that is something that shouldn’t be overlooked.  But if we aren’t careful, if we aren’t selective, we are in danger of cluttering our life with so much noise from the past that all of the lessons, the pivotal moments, the inspiration and laughter will get lost and won’t be able to help us shape our future.

Not Letting Go

Not letting go is just that. It’s you not handling your shit.  It’s you not letting go of that one time you went on spring break, or how awesome you were at sports in highschool, or the relationship that broke you that you never really healed from, or the attachment to someone who is no longer with you, the clothes that don’t fit or are completely not your style anymore, the shoes that were better in theory and miserable on your feet, the drawer full of gifts from people who don’t really understand you, the dishes you were given when you got married, the 3485 scribbly drawings your kids did 14 years ago in pre-school.  Keeping things will not bring those times back, it will not give you the body of a younger you, it will not cure an aching heart.  It will however mask your grief, solidify your trauma, and keep you on a never ending loop.   

 

Re-living, re-telling, and collecting artifacts from the same old stories is nothing more than sitting on your couch and watching reruns forever.  And as we all know, watching reruns is only interesting for so long.  After a while there are no surprises, the story never changes and it ends the same way every time -- with you, on your couch, late at night having just eaten a bag of chips and then waking up the next day wondering when things are going to “get good again”.  And here’s something else I just thought of: it's not fair to the people you share your life with -- your teenage kids definitely don’t want to bring their friends home to walls full of pictures of them from the 4th grade, and I would image that when you and your partner started your journey together you dreamt about creating a future, not curating a museum or worse yet, living in a home dedicated to “the good old days”.

 

So, WTF...

So what the fuck? Here’s what the fuck: Ask questions.  Challenge yourself often.  Treat everything you own as if it is a tenant renting space in your life that is almost at full capacity -- if it doesn’t provide you enough value (propelling your story forward) then it needs to find more suitable living conditions where it might be able to add value to someone else who isn’t as far along in their journey as you are( I hear Goodwill is accepting new tenants all of the time).  These are hard conversations you are going to have to have with yourself.  They are going to bring up some shit, but honestly that’s the point. This is about creating an environment that supports your growth and lays the foundation of a future based on inspiration and lessons learned not living in a time capsule surrounded by a highlight reel.

 

Asking For a Friend

What happens to my relationship with my parents if I donate/give back/sell their wedding china? How does my partner feel about me keeping love letters from college…how do I feel about me keeping love letters from college...what does that mean?  Does this picture inspire me? Am I ever going to wear this again?  Do I really need to keep everything my grandparents left me? Why do I still own CDs?  Do I like the person I was when this picture was taken? Do I actually like reading books or do I just like the idea of reading these books...why do I have so many books if I’m not reading them?  How many pictures of my kids do I actually want on the walls? ?  I have 16 porcelain pigs. Am I ok with that?  I have a box of jewelry I don’t wear and I feel guilty about it, why am I keeping it?  Do I actually like this “antique”, or am I keeping it because I’m “supposed” to?  If I donate this and it ruins our friendship, what does that say about our friendship?  Is anyone ever going to look at these pictures again?  I’ve had this since college. Does that make it important enough to keep or does it just make it old?  

 

Are You Ready?

If you are ready to move forward I have your answer. 

 

You’ve spent far too long pretending to feel safe, far too long accepting that you have to sacrifice yourself to get the life you actually deserve.  If you want to REALLY live, then you need to create a foundation that applies to every area of your life not just parts of it ... 

 

Get on the Waitlist for the Power & Peace Through Purpose!



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